sniffsnooff's avatar

sniffsnooff

*Off to a fresh start*
54 Watchers33 Deviations
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Artist // Hobbyist // Digital Art
  • Deviant for 7 years
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Super Albino Llama: Llamas are awesome! (130)

Favourite Movies
Coraline
Favourite TV Shows
Fringe
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Bts,Monsta x,Block B,Got7
Favourite Books
Magicel curls,The doll,The wall people
Favourite Writers
Sigalit dill
Favourite Games
Minecraft (Yeah yeah i know)
Favourite Gaming Platform
PC
Other Interests
Music,Hand craft

Profile Comments 81

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To whoever it may concern

I don't know how to put my thoughts in words, but let's try.
When you feel it for the very first time.
'these feelings might just go away on their own with time'
'I don't want to bother anyone'
'I'll wait until it gets better'

But it doesn't go away, it doesn't gets better, and you notice that those dark,
rainy clouds making everything seem so empty and heavy are not floating
under the skyline; they are attached to your head.
But you don't want the others to soak, right? Choking on the rain feels
better than telling anyone. But they notice eventually that something is off,
they keep asking questions... maybe they just don't want to get wet in their own?
Maybe they're really willing to help you,
maybe it'll be even helpful,
like a raincoat or catching a bit of a sunshine to light everything up.
And those are first confessions, first supportive words, first 'always here for you'.

But here comes the guilt, the game of pretending.
Because how many times; how much are they able to endure?
It's not a seasonal problem; it's not something to get over with and move on
within a month or two.
It is a hard, daily fight with your own head.

Exhausting.

'You're only a problem'
'you'll make them upset'
'you don't ever make them smile, only cry'
'you're making things up'
'you're better on your own'
'they don't need you in their lives'
'if you keep this up, they may get rid of you'

And you don't want to be a bother; so you fake that everything's okay now.
Keeping it quiet; they don't want to really listen, right?
And you're to tired to even try.
Your head is killing you,
after all,
those dark clouds are screaming that no-one is ever gonna understand.
That you're not needed here.

And maybe they're right.
THIS ACCOUNT ISN'T ACTIVE
THIS ACCOUNT ISN'T ACTIVE
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THIS ACCOUNT ISN'T ACTIVE